Adventures of Miss B

Monday, September 18, 2006

Killing time

Here I sit at the reception desk at Channel Seven, and I am more bored than I have ever been in my LIFE. I never thought I would yearn for the days of busting my ass for $10.50 an hour at Gremily’s, but compared to the abject boredom and total uselessness I am being subjected to here I would gladly take a day of back-breaking labour for slave wages. At least there was chocolate involved. Here? Repeated traumatic sightings of the ugly mug of Graham Cornes, terrible coffee and four TVs showing Blue Heelers - all assaulting my very senses. Now that’s cruel and unusual punishment.

Temping is one of the stranger jobs I’ve had. You really get an insight into how little people actually do for their money. I’ve been sitting here for the past five and a half hours and have done… let me see… uh…. bugger-all. I’m not sure how many times you can read a reception manual in one day, but I think I’m going for the record. And it was deathly crap the first time ‘round. I know I shouldn’t complain. I mean, the money’s great and I get to eat at the arse-kickingly good staff canteen, but when your brain has turned to mashed potato it makes it hard to appreciate the finer points of sitting on your fat can for a living.

Well, as I haven’t updated in a while I may as well spam the blogiverse with more pointless details of my lacklustre exploits. Everything’s been a bit crazy of late, as reflected in bouts of wicked insomnia and my disinclination to, well, eat. But it’s all calming down, and I’m almost back to my old self, albeit about 8 kilos lighter than when I left Canada. Hey, I can’t complain!

It’s still a bit weird to be adrift in the universe – not playing horn much at the moment (though I’m feeling the pull to start practicing again, which is good), haven’t applied to Uni for next year yet (but I’ll get on that this week), and playing WAY too much Playstation (good for fun, baaad for motivation :D). But things are coming together, and I’m actually starting to enjoy the idea that anything is possible – it’s a pretty sweet place to be.

In other getting-my-shite-together news, I’ll be going for my Learner’s permit this week. Yes, that’s right; I am finally going to get my driver’s licence. Woe betide the road-going public, and all tremble before my mighty suckage! I might even have a car, if mum’s old crapheap in the driveway isn’t completely toast. I’m hoping to bribe Lincoln and his brother with a carton of beer or riches unto half my kingdom (net value: about equal, at this point) to take a look at it and see if we can’t raise it from the dead. Sweet liberty!


Sunday, August 27, 2006

After the weekend

It's always the way - you have a badazz weekend, and on Monday the fallout begins. You start having to tell the stories, confirm the details, justify the expenses - and explain exactly why you have an enormous bruise in the shape of TEETH on your arm. And funnily enough, that's exactly what I've been doing for the last two days. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, in a first for even this battle-scarred party veteran, I am currently sporting highly-identifiable teeth marks in an easy-to-spot location, right below the arm of my tshirt, there for all the world to see. There I was, enjoying a stein at the German Club and chatting to some friends, when... *CHOMP* - bitten HARD on the arm by a tipsy swing dancer. I am assured that it was a random 'love nip', but GOD DAMN it hurt! I think I'm getting too old for this shite. :D

Anyhoo, thar she blows

Oh, and apparently I taste just like chicken. *shrug*


Wednesday, August 23, 2006

HULK SMAAAAASH!!!

It's been a while since my last Hulk Smash, so there's a pantsload of pent-up rage just waiting to bust out! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

There's this dude, right. So we're hanging out, shooting the shit, and I'm thinking he's a pretty cool guy - might actually be decent friend material (and I'm not even hiring new friends right now :D). So we're chatting away about 'Unleashed' (Jet Li flick), and I make a faux pas about a detail in the movie. Okay, so it was pretty big, and I felt like a total idiot (yes, I concede, I am a total freakin' idiot on a regular basis). There I am, feeling totally embarrassed and wishing the earth would swallow me up, when all of a sudden he BURNS me with this huge flame comment. It was SO RUDE!! I haven't been burned like that in AGES, and it stings like a beeatch. I know it was just a foot-in-mouth thing, but seriously - think before you speak, dude! Fuck! Next time I'll wear my flame retardant undies. GAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HULK SMAAAAASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, now I'm over it. :D


Saturday, August 19, 2006

Comic of the Week

The uber-geeky guilty pleasure, Penny Arcade. One of my favourites, and personally recommended by some of my finest nerds.

You know, I'm really missing my geek posse right now. You don't really notice how much you need them until you realise that noone around you understands just how important it is to have a copy of Final Fantasy: Advent Children that is pure and unsullied by dubbing into english, someone to nod earnestly whilst hearing a lament on the difficulty of procuring CAD merch in Australia, that special someone who understands why Ranma is both a boy AND a girl - not that there's anything wrong with that. I met a guy the other night who was like a geekly kindred spirit, and it really made me miss having someone to call up and say "Get over here - it's time for Crimson Empire, baby. And bring the bubble tea.". What a sad state of affairs.


Thursday, August 17, 2006

Back to and/or from obscurity!

Well, it's been a while, but I've finally gotten off my fat can and onto my laptop (which is finally, albeit tenuously, alive again!) to update this sorry excuse for a blog. Rather than dwell on the yuckeries of having to leave my home of 2 1/2 years, I'll give you a happy little rundown of the last few weeks -

After leaving Montreal I spent a big twelve hours in London, where I had a chance to head into town for a pretty sweet afternoon shopping on Oxford, tooling around Soho and lunching on Carnaby Street. Luvverly bunch of coconuts, that. I’m still trying to forget the horrible 30 hours of cramped flights and frantic transfers that ensued, so we’ll cut to a few days later – there I was in Perth, Western Australia, with a glorious shower and 12 hours sleep under my belt, and all was right with the world. I stayed with my friend Cheryl Glasgow, Perth swing pioneer and Herrang junkie, and was made supremely welcome by her and the rest of the Perth scene. I took some classes as a lead, checked out Fremantle and had a brilliant night’s social dancing and catching up with friends at the Mustang Bar. Before I knew it, it was time to head home to Adelaide, and reality.

I've been back home for about 3 week now, and it's been a bit of a bizarre alternate-reality experience. It's like I dropped off to sleep, just for a moment, and even though everything and everyone is exactly the same as before there are now huge and random glaring differences that have grown up out of the ground in the blink of an eye. It's just that sort of town.:D

I’m sharing a tiny three-bedroom house with my brother, his housemate Corissa, two dogs and, would you believe it, a kangaroo named Hoppy. That’s right, we have a kangaroo in our midst – a foul, grumpy animal who eats peanut butter and growls at you in a highly disconcerting fashion whenever it wants something. It was cool at first, but novelty is definitely wearing thin. Anyway, I’ll attach some photos for your viewing (dis?)pleasure.

As far as swing dancing here goes, the scene is still in its infancy but there are some super keen newbies, a bunch o' up-and-comers and a handful of advanced dancers. So it’s not quite Montreal, but it should still be a lot of fun watching the scene grow. In other news, I had my highly un-anticipated DJing debut on Friday night at a new monthly dance here called ‘Little Shop of Swing’. It was a mammoth 3 ½ hour set, and I learned a pretty big lesson from it – even if you think the song sucks a major nut, you still have to play it if it gets them up and dancing. I managed to sneak in some of my Fletcher Henderson and Slim Gaillard, but it was mostly ‘Potato Chips’ and ‘Fly Me To The Moon’. *sigh * Still, it went pretty well, and was a bunch o' fun – I think I’m really going to enjoy working on my leet DJ Madskillz™! :D

Anyway, for the next few months I’ll be doing temp office work (lame but phat ca$h ensues) and getting my resume together for my application to grad school next year (the Australian academic year starts in February). And trying, in the words of a wise man, to "just live every day" - and that means making time for a beer on a Tuesday night. Cheers!


Thursday, July 06, 2006

Ten days

It's a funny thing, and it ALWAYS happens. You do your everyday thing, go out, wash dishes, comb your hair, and life just flies by. Then, one day, all of a sudden, it dawns on you that you're out of time. Suddenly everything becomes valuable - the trees are a different green, you really hear your friends laugh, you notice the freckles on your boyfriend's hands... you realise that those things have to be drunk in, and remembered.

Last night I received the news that the father of one of my closest friends passed away yesterday. As I knew him he was a lovely man, big and boomy and full of cheek, with a wisecrack for every occasion. He beat prostate cancer, ran a farm, raised four amazing children and left everyone he met with a grin on their face. (I send my love and thoughts to you, chica.)

It's ten days until I leave Montreal, and although it is going to be hard to go I've realised that I haven't seen my family in nearly two years. I feel like I haven't made enough memories with them yet. I'm not sure if you ever can make enough - if, when the time comes, there might always be the feeling that you could have done more. The very first thing I did after I found out was call my mum. I hope my family knows just how much I love and appreciate them - I've always tried to make sure they know it, but perhaps I can never tell them too much. We owe it to the people who love us to drink in every memory, to honour what they have given us. Maybe that's all life is about, in its essence - making sure that the people you care about are secure in the knowledge that you love them. And at this time it's more vital to call my friend and tell her that I love her and I'm here for her unconditionally. If that's all you can do, maybe it's enough.


Friday, June 30, 2006

There's something in the water...

Montreal is a crazy place right now. The weather is insane, for one - this morning Ian woke me up to look out the window and there was... nothing. Just a sheet of gray, which my hazy brain soon identified as the heaviest rain I have EVER seen - it was COCO. Seriously, I've never seen (or not seen) anything like it. At this point I think I decided the morning is just too serious for me, so I rolled over and went back to sleep. Cut to three hours later, and I wake up to the sun shining right in my face. I stagger over to the window and it is DRY out there! A beautiful, slightly cloudy day with not a puddle in sight. This place is schizophrenic.

Some of the other insanity comes from the start of festival season around here. The Montreal Jazz Festival started last night - for some reason even the locals go a little *whooo* when the jazz fest is on. It's like those crabs in Cuba (or somewhere) - they spend most of the year hiding in the rocks, but when crab season hits they come teeming across the city and totally take over, stopping traffic, drinking cocktails, wearing berets, dancing to jazz in the moonlight... uh, that sort of thing. It's a crazy time to be here!

Also, tomorrow is Canada Day! Not so big here in Quebec (they celebrate Fete Nationale du Quebec - love those Separatists!) but they do still have a party, and it's always a bunch o' fun.

Above everything, though, Montreal festival season just has a smell about it. It's a feeling when you walk through the streets, like something is waiting just around the corner, like everyone in the city is either doing something awesome or on their WAY to do something awesome. The city smells spicy; like poutine, smoke and dirty blues music. It's the noise of Montreal - french and english and every other language you can imagine flying at you from the sidewalks, impatient car horns, hiphop music from a second floor balcony... it's an amazing place to be.

So tonight I'm off dancing at Cat's Corner, then hopefully heading out to soak up some jazz fest atmos. Tomorrow there's the Canada Day fireworks in Vieux (Old) Montreal, and a weekend of insanity shall ensue. Huzzah!!


Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Who are you in Sex and the City?

You scored as Steve. You're Steve Brady! Just a typical working class New Yorker, you're friendly and don't like anything expensive or elaborate. You're a family person with an open heart that makes others feel at ease.

Steve

90%

Carrie

77%

Mr. Big

70%

Miranda

67%

Samantha

53%

Berger

50%

Charlotte

33%

Who are you in Sex and the City?
created with QuizFarm.com

I'm STEVE?? Who knew I was so nice? :D

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Blog blahdom

You know, the more blogs I read, the more I realise what this one lacks - daily freakin' interest. All I do is post intermittent rants about bollocks, and then nothing for weeks. The best blogs are the ones you can read back and get a good sense of your life - I think if I come back to this in ten years I'm going to think I spent this whole time bored, and then cranky, and then bored again. And to keep with the theme -

I'm sitting here in our hot little apartment feeling pretty damn shitty. Right now, across town, my friend's birthday party is in full swing. So there's a story here - Ian's out playing poker, and I have the only keys to the apartment. If I'm out too late, he'll be stuck outside for hours waiting for me to get in. My friend Seb came to pick me up for the party but he was super-late (like 12:40am!!), by which time I couldn't really leave because I was worried Ian would be home soon and forced to wait on a cold dark street corner for me to get home. So (much to his chagrin for having come all the way across town) I send Seb off to the party with a promise to catch the bus over as soon as Ian arrives (yeah, that was SO never going to happen). And here I sit, at 2:27am, and Ian still isn't home. I mean, it's totally not his fault but DAYAM, what a shame! It sucks just to be sitting here like a chump, especially when I got all purtied up for nuttin'. And I'm having a good hair day and everything!! Ap-cray. :(

The thing is, though, I'm not really that sorry. I've been totally knackered lately - I've been busting my ass exercising every day (taking a daily walk up and jog down Mount Royal). Like, I'm at the point that I can hardly get up and walk around the house. It's exhausting. The weird thing is that I've been eating well and getting decent sleep - it just never feels like enough. Bizarro.

Apart from my little jaunt up the mountain, all I did today was fool around on the internet and hang out with Ian watching the World Cup - I think it was Iran and someone, but I admit I snoozed through some of it (oh, the shame). On the sports front, I was stoked to watch the Edmonton Oilers beat the Carolina Hurricanes 3-0 in Game Six of the Stanley Cup finals tonight. The Oilers have come back from a two game defecit to take the 'Canes to Game Seven, which is awesome (for those who don't know, the finals are in a best-of-seven format). Oooh MAMA, Monday night is GO!! :D


Monday, June 12, 2006

Thumpada-thumpada... HEART-ATTACK!!

I just called the Canadian government to check on the progress of my fat tax return (as prophesied by the mystic financial oracles at H&R Block) and for the first time took a glance at the details of my financial life in Canada thus far. After a wry giggle at the 'Total Income' line (a truly colossal $11,829.98 - so that's what killing your soul for $9/hr looks like! *snort* Homeless guys make more than that in cans!) I noticed a little discrepancy on my two tax return columns - one says 'Balance due', and the other says 'Balance owing'! Balance owing?? What the hell does that mean?! Do I owe them or do they owe me? I frantically dial H&R Block and spend the next 45 minutes on hold, waiting in abject terror for the call centre girl to tell me that I have made a $500 loss on my trip to Canada, and that I am going to have to sell a kidney in Bangkok to get myself back in the black. In the end, the lovely lady I speak to tells me in broken franglish that according to her files I most certainly AM getting a refund. I didn't quite believe her at first -

Me: I'm confused - one column says 'balance due' and the other says 'balance owing'... does this mean I owe money?
Her (in thick french accent): Non, zey are both refund.
Me: But it says 'balance owing'...
Her: It is in front of me. Not sure in English, how you say, ze smaller and bigger are both refund.
Me: Okay, but...
Her: Refund.
Me: Really??
Her: REFUND!!
Me: You. Are. Awesome!!
Her: ...refund.

Okay, so the last line was just for dramatic effect, but she was great and totally put my mind at ease. So even though (and here's the bad news for me) the cheques might not get here until after I leave, at least Ian can cash them for me and I will have money again!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!


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